Leaving The Past Behind, Chasing The Future...
So 2008 is leaving us and 2009 is comin even if we dont like it. For some of us, it means new challenges while to others is new beginnings and oppourtunities. It will be sad to leave 2008 as it is filled with many memories both sad and happy while to some it is a fresh start for ur life. For me it is mixed of both feeling. Writing this post while listening to my favourite music is something i will remember about the last few minutes of 2008 and 2009. Everything exist in two ways and you will experience it in your lifetime. It is just how you deal with it and look at it. Sad vs Happy, Ups vs Downs, Negative vs Positive, Success vs Failure, it all exist in two ways. I experienced a fair share of each moment if not, it okae.


2008 is the startin point where i realise myself. Who am i, my purpose in life and what i shld do with my life. It is true that the older you get, the more u will see and understand your surroundings. For me, it opens many alternatives that I need to take to be happy. And i am happy with the path i chose although it is filled with thorns and spikes. It sometimes graze or cut me deep but there are always first-aid and medicine along the way, where u can rest and recover and continue your journey. You just need to keep looking for it.


Detours are expected and i admit i took detours to avoid certain things in my way. These are the regrets in my life as not only it changes the outcome u desire but it changes who u are. You will realise u r not what u r used to be from where u start. I realised it changes me alot. It is not who i want to become. This is the price i have to pay for running away from my problems and difficulties. It just came back to haunt you. One of the biggest regret in 2008 is not being able to stop thinking about my failed relationship in the beggining of the year. It just made me unable to truly like or love a person as the feeling of heartbreak overshadows the greatness of love. Another regret in my life is not beaing able to be a great son to my parents. Falling below their expectations is like a daily routine for me in 2008. I just really wish and hope it won't continue as it pains to see them greatly dissapointed in you.


All these things that happen in 2008 made me hardy and unemotional. There is only one expression on my face, a fake smile. It is difficult for me to feel or bring out my emotions to the public eyes. Maybe I do not want people to see me crying or angry as it is a sign of vulnerabilty. But i realised it will just eat u away. Crying alone and bottling my anger it is just so difficult for me to bear alone. Although i promised myself not to do that anymore, it is difficult for me to change it. Partly maybe when I look around, is there anyone truly love or like me if i show my vulnerability and weakness? Accept me for who I am? "Maybe.." Thats what i always say to myself.... Or partly i don't want anyone to hurt or share the burden with me as they will get hurt and troubled too... It is my token of affection to someone I love, not troubling them with my burden so that they will always be happy and will not run away from me.


On this day, at this very hour I realised it is selfish of me and stupid of me to shy away from people who love me. Loving someone meaning sharing ur emotion and feelings. I hope i will find that star, the star just for me. Liking me for who I am, a HIMBO, an IDIOT, a RETARD, a WEIRDO.


My resolution? After writing this I hope I can see and embrace my star, keep doing things I have passion for (DANCING REGGAE) and be good at it, love and cherish the people around me, hope the world will be a better place to live in, end the people suffering and most importantly of all to those people who haven't found their stars yet, they are shining brightly for you. It just take some time and effort for your pupil to adjust, from the dark corner u have been living in, to the warmth and the brightness of your star, lover, soulmate and partner in every language exist. So for the last few minutes, just cry, cry, cry until ur tears went dry, dry, dry. Here is to 2009 and love u all!

PS: IGNORE THE STUPID CLOCK! THIS IS POSTED ON 00:00 of 1st Jan of 2009. HAHA!!

XOXOXOXOXO

Sentosa Outing!!!!

Finally Sentosoa! Here We come!!! i have been waiting for this day when i get to go tanning!!! seriously i tink i am so white and i am in need for some healthy tanning and the sun!!! AND I AM CLEVER!!! I READ TANNING TIPS BEFORE GOIN TO SENTOSA!!! AND GUESS WAT? I DUN HAVE SUNBURN!!! WOOHOOOO! hahah!!! we begin our day at harbourfront's macdonalds!!! me and mitch ate super mega breakfast cos i was damn hungry since the day before!!! OMG!! it is so damn nice!!! HAHA!!! there was this nice lighting there and we took photos!!! NADIA brought her camera!!! NADIA PLS SEND US THE PHOTOS!!! haha!!! so sfter that we went to buy the tix and like WOW! there are alot of ppl lining up for the tix!!! i was like WTH!! it is tues ppl!!!! not weekend!!! so we hurry up and buy our tix and sat on the tram to BEACH STATION!!!!

SO we went to the palawan beach and we sat near the bridge!!! MISS NAD BEING THE DIVA wants rthe shade so we went to the shady area!!! HAHA!!! we were talkin about how we want to go to the countdown party which i found quite stupid becos of the crowded space there!!! I SO HATE CROWDED PLACES!!! HAHA!! so the BEACH IS QUITE EMPTY!! LOVE IT!! Me and Kex were tanning when the sun came up!! i was so pissed cos the sun is like playin pranks on us!!! ERGHH!!! but when the sun came, we were like YAHOO!!! Miss Mitch and MISS NAD were in the shady area!!! dun knoe why!!! HHA!!! so we took more photos and like camwhore and doin stupid stuffs!!! like playin a 'SONG GAME' where u ask a qs and click on the ipod and see the song title for the ans!!! I HATE THE IPOD!!! GIMMIE STUPID ANS!!! AND IT IS SO CHILDISH!!! erghhh!!!!

AND GUESS WAT?! Suddenly there is a mass of black clouds passing and it STARTED TO FREAKING RAIN!!! ERGHH!!!!!! MY TANNING OIL!!!! we were like running to a shelter and luckily it was nearby!! SO FUNNY AND HECTIC!!! haha!!! AND THAT STUPID RAIN STOPS LIKE RIGHT AFTER WE WENT TO THE SHELTER!!! STUPID!!! Then the sun came up again!!! HAHAH!!! so back to tanning!!!

It was quite hot so we decided to go to the sea!! but that stupid guard keep beeping and like warn us in some gibberish language about lightning warning, so i look up to the sky and it was like FREAKIN SUNNY!!! where is the lightning??? DUDE TAKE OUT UR SUNGLASSES!!! so we were like complaining and took more pics!!! HAHA!!! AND HAKEEM BECOME THIER SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT!!! IDIOTIC PEOPLE!!!

When we finaly manage to go into the sea, we like taking photos in the sea! LOVE u NADIA and ur CAMERA!!! HAAH!!! so were like top models takin pics!!! HAHAH!!!! we took like tons of it and then were so tired that we went to bathe early and head for dinner!!! HAHAHHAHA!!! SO WE WENT BACK TO TAMP TO MEET HUDA!! and along the way i fell asleep! so tired!!!!

We went to eat at KFC!!! I HAVE LIKE CRAVINGS FOR KFC LAH!!! HAHA!! we ate and ate... make contact lenses, nadia went home cos she got sumtin on, met huda and look at her eatin. TAKE MORE PHOTOS!! I WANT THOSE PHOTOS OSO!!! HAHA!!! then went tamp to buy MITCH PREZZIES for her frens!! she bought for Kev a bag and it is super funny cos she oso gave kev the wrapping paper so that he can wrap and unwrap himself and surprise himself!!! HAHAAH!!!!! SO FUNNY!!!!! WHENEVER I THINK OF THE SCENARIO I WILL LAUGH LIKE MAD!!! HAHAH!!! IMAGINE!!!! HAHAHAHAHHHAHA!!!

I bought my neon green and pink shoelaces, went o TAMP NTUC to buy candies!!! i finally overcome my fear of TAMP NTUC!!!! WOW!!!!! it was so crowded!!! hate it!!! HAHAH!!! well it is christmas time hakeem!!! wat do u expect!!! then went home!!! SO tired and i miss that someone crazily!!! and smsed him and fell asleep!! hope he get well soon!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERONE!!!! LOTS OF LOVE, xoxooxxooxox

The Guys! At Macs!

The Gals! At Macs!

DANCE CAMP!!!!Finally Dance Camp arrives!!! Been waitin for it!!!! SO fun!!! FInally can dance and see my lovable dancemates!!!! HAHA!!! so we begin our day dancing!!! doin basic training with Gin and choreo dance moves to Britney's My Perrogative!!! It was difficult but i managed to catch it at the end of the day and it is so damn nice!!! this choroe is actually something to Prepare us for the next dance concert, GEMS 4.. Our theme is MTV!!!! SO FUN!!! we will potray like madonna, britney, janet jackson and micheal jackson!!! SO fun!!! Cant wait for the dance!!! i tink it will be the BOMB! HAHA!!!! then our food provided is not bad! it was quite nice and the amount is generous so that we wont die of exhaustion due to dancing for two days!!! HAHA!!!! And most of them say taht HALAL food is better!!! HAHA!!!! maybe it is true!!! I dun knoe!!! I enjoyed the Chicken Wing! HAHAHAH!!!!

Back to our training, after that there is modern dance basic training. so we do insane stretches and body conditioning!! TRUST ME MODERN IS TOUGHER THAN HIP HOP. the Trainig leaves my calf and thighs SCREAMING!!! But finally i knoe how to do a turn properly and RYAN WAS FUNNY!! He is damn cool and funny!!! I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING IN HIS CLASS!!!! after that session, the modern went for choreo class and the hip hop ppl need to come out wif a modern piece!!! HAHA!!! it is damn funny cos my grp did not have any seniors and no one knoes modern!!!! But we managed to pull a decent job durin the performance nite!!! Maybe i will join modern next year!!! I LOVE IT!!!! HAHAHA!!!! DO THE KICKS AND TWIRLING!!! ahahaa!!

After that we oso need to come out wif a hip hop piece wif the theme MTV!! we assigned letter "D" so we need to come out wif an artist! we choose this guy who sings the "CALCUTTA, I am the taxi driver man" song!!! HAHA!!! so we were doin some indian meets hip hop dance!!! it is funny and dope!!! thanks to the seniors!!! they have damn nice concepts and moves!!! HAHA!!!! BUT WHEN WE TRY WIF THE SONG!!! IT WAS DAMN FAST!! BUT WE MANAGED TO KEEP UP WIF IT!!! haha!! then SITI one of the member came up wif us makin a taxi at the chorus!!! AND IT WAS A GREAT DECISION AND THE BOMB!!! AND GUESS WAT? WE WON!!!! YEAH!!!! HAHA!! the other grps are oso damn DOPE!!!! SEriously!!!! HAHA!!!

On the second day, everyone was dam tired!!! HAHA!!! we begin our day wif AMAZING RACE!!! ANd my grp is so fast that we call oursekves the URgency grp!!! HAHA!!! We were so fast that we are the first one to finish the race!!! YEAh!!!! some of the stations were funny like mimicking pop idol and i did MARILYN MONROE!!! HAHA!!!! So we get Chocs again!!! LOVE THEM!!!

After that we went to watch vid of past performances and the tv and system was so bad that sometimes it is disrupted!!! and somemore at my fav parts!!! ERGHH!!! but it was fun watchin the seniors dancing and learning something frm them. Then we went to do more choroe wif Gin, continuation of the previous day... and oso a new choreo! at the end of the day i was damn tired!!! haha!!! But it is a mark for the END OF THE CAMP!!!! YAY!!!! I AM AHPPY BECOS AFTER THAT ME AND NICOLE WENT TO WATCH TWILIGHT!!!!! Me for the second time and nicole for the third time and countin!!! HAAH!!! my exhaustion like MAGIC went *POOF* when i am in the the cinema. i understand the story better without the bitches who are in need of masturbaton kickin my chair!!! HAHA!!!

After the movie we discuss the show for a bit and i bought things to eat. Like alot!!! and when i reach home i eat like everytin tat includes, 2 DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS, 2 CUSTARD DONUTS, 1 APPLE PIE, 1 PLATE OF FRIED RICE AND A HOTDOG AND A KINDER BUENO. TO MAKE IT WORST, I SLEPT AFTER THAT. DID NOT WORK OUT!! AAHHHH!!!! I WILL GROW FAT!!!! NEED TO WORK OUT NOW!!!

Shauna and Nicole on the first day of camp!!

US!!!!!
Farhanah DArling!

T-Bone Outing!!!!So It has been long since i blog becos i have alot of other things to do!!! VERY BUSY!!!! HAHA!! so tis is dedicated to my SECTION OUTIN that happens on THURSDAY!!! MY SECTION!!! TROMBONIST FRM SEC SKOOL BAND!! it is like ages since i met them!! they change alot although they still have the air around them that SHOUTS, SEC SKOOLL!!!! HAHA!!! totally!! u can differentiate sec skool students frm the rest of the crowd!!1 NO OFFENSE!!! hahaha!!! So In my section there are two seniors ME AND CASS, four juniors; 2 just finish their "Os" juniors, Azam and Fadhilah and another two sec 3, yun yee and marvyn! Although maarvyn did not come for the outin becos he have TUITION FOR NEXT YEAR O LEVELS!! they are crazy and scary!!! I havent even started my revision until prelims!!! HARDCORE STUDENTS!!! HAHAHA!!!

SO we all meet at eunos mrt!!! U noe the seniors need to wait for the juniors!!! ERGHH!!! They are late as usual!!! HAHA!!!! GUess where do we go orchard!!!! we cAtch up on others, talk crap and talk about sec skool teachers and whether there are like scandals in my sec skool and surprisingly there are lots of it!!!! like teachers arguing wif eac other!!!! Hot Stuff!!!! HAHA!!! We went to cineleisure and bought tix to watch TWILIGHT!!!! IT IS SO DAMN NICEE!!! i dun knoe why people say it was bad!!!! GET A LIFE PEOPLE!!!! HAHA!!! and we had our lunch at BBQ CHIX AGAIN!!! i have been eATin it like gazzillions time and i still not sick of it!!! OMG MY STOMACH NOW IS LIKE *GURGLES*, HAHAH!!!!

TO kill some time, we went to heeren to see some cds and duh camwhore!!! hahah!!! ppl like lookin at us and i am so damn embarrassed! HAHA!!! but wadeva galfren!!! HAHA!!!! then b4 the movie we went to buy drinks frm Gloria Beans i tink it is called. I dun knoe!!! HAHA!!! well it was 3 bucks and it was worth it!! the choco peppermint bomb is like *BOMB* literally!!! HAHA!!!! then we smuggled it into twilight! HAHAH!!! we didnt buy popcorns cos it was like crowded!!! AHAH!!!

I was pissed when i was in the cinema cos these group of gals frm American skool was kicking my chair and makin alot of noise watchin TWILIGHT!! I give them the evil stare and it works for a moment!!! i could not concentrate on the show!!! they laughed at the slightest thing!! Like When Bella and Edward started kissing!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY BImbos, stop THE ANNOYING laughter and juz masturbate at home, if it turns you on so much!!! GET A DILDO BITCHES!!! ERGHH!!

Thn after the movies i like complaining to my juniors of how irritatin they were in front of them!!! I hoped those bitches hear it!!! HUH!! After the movies we need to seperate cos my juniors have tuition and cass need to go visit her grandma, it was sad but wat to do!!! Juz hope that there will be more outins like tis in the future.. I can see them when i visit band on the last week!!! Ciaoz!!!

I covered my face ERGH!!!
Fadhilah!!!!

Too Tired To Fight Back...So on the 15th of December 2008.. the DCG CLique went to eat and meet up!!!! Except for HUDA!!!! She went to msia!!! ERGHH!!! kae.... so me, nad and mitch went to meet kev in town. we are frm tamp so the journey is quite long. it was fun catching up on miss nadia who like mia and mitch who went to bintan. Miss them Lots. I du knoe wat i am goin to do without them cos seriously they are my closest Frens!!! HHA!!! so we went to lucky plaza and eat the ayam PENYET!!! DAMn nice and luckily i remember where issit cos they will kill me if i dun remember... the GADO-GADO and Chendol is heavenly.. although it was quite ex everyone enjooyed and satisfy their hunger. Of course the talk about goin on a diet.. Issit like the diet season? and KEV i finally saw ur little Kevon!!!!! HAHA!!! u need to go on a diet!!! HAHA!!!

After tat we walk the whole town taking pics and actin crazy as per normal whenever i meet up wif them. we walk frm lucky plaza till plaza sing.. and along the way.. THEY FORCE ME TO BUY THIS SILLY HATS (which later i find to fit me perfectly) and walk to Plaza Sing!!! Weelll it is not bad... Actually i was awkward for a moment but i then WORKED IT!! HAHAHA!!!

So the adventure of the gang doesnt end there. We do this thing called BYSTANDERS EFFECT!! and the passer bys was like laughing and trying to figure out wat we lookin at and wat were we doin!!! It was hilarious.... HHA!!! then nad need to go off early so we say bye!!! but me, kev and mitch talk and gossip at Starbucks Coffee.. seriously if they go there again and ask me to drink green tea frappe.. i will kill them!!! i prefer coffee bean!!! so then met up wif kev fren.. then we went home.....

At home is where my drama starts.... Juz wanna say that ppl who indirectly or directly cause tis.. pls keep ur comments to urself... it sux being the one who being targeted at.. it make me feel useless and depressed... luckily i am strong enuf to live thru it... and i am not the person who hold grudges and emo for the whole day.. but i will juz keep it in my heart and dun knoe when i will break.. juz waitin for the moment.. i am at the threshold of my pain.... Peace out....

ME And Nad At MRT!!!

Eatin Ayam Penyet!!!

Wild wild WEEK!!!!EXAMS ARE OVER!!! FINALLY!!!! LIKE GAZILLIONS HOURS OF STUDY IS DONE!!!! so happy!!!!! hhahaha!!! well after the exams, on Friday me and my psycho frens went to WIL WILD WET!!!! it wAS SO fun!!! we played the rides like alot of times until i feel like puking due to the excitement i had and the screaming!!! they are so funny!!!! azeemah especially!! seriously the not so scary ride she scream!!! even the mini slide at the baby pool!!! LIKE WTH!!! but it was fun!!! hahah!!!!! i totally went bonkers!!! then me, azeemah and amanda were at the lazy pool. suddenly there is tis auntie trying to teach her son to swim.. IT was so harious cos her mom wants to play "shark" wif her son! but the son was scared so he like went crying "mummy, mummy!" THEN THE MOTHER WAS LIKE " WAT MUMMY, MUMMY! I AM THE SHARK!! I AM NOT UR MUMMY!!!" in the most ridiculous voice ever!!!! AT tat point i burst out laughing and could not stop laughing!!! WE ALL LAUGH LIKE MAD!!! IT WAS SO FUNNY!!!! memories!!!

AFter the wild evening we had, we went to ehub to play some board games!!! i wasa so fun especially the uglydoll card game!! we were shouting ridiculous phrases just to get cards like "I HAVE BIG BOOBS!!! OR I HAVE SMELY BUTT!" we were so into the game that we were shouting the phrases like we meant it!!!! IMAGINE THE SITUTION WE ARE IN!!! AND I OWN THE GAME!!!!! HUUH!!!! I AM LIKE PRO AT IT!!! hahah!!!!

TAT hapens on friday... on saturday, me and kev went touring around orchard road!! it was so packed!!! and that irritatin kevon have sumtin that i have(u knoe wat i mean) and it was damn stupid and embarassing!!! KEVON!!! but it was okae!!! BEFORE that.. i was takin the train to DHOBY GHAUT! to meet KEVON at PLAZA SING!! so hakeem being clever thought that dhoby ghaut is purple line AND SO WENT ALL THE WAY TO OUTRAM PARK. So clever hakeem take the train all the way to tanjong pagar and saw the map that it actually dhoby ghaut is on the red line.. SO CLEVER HAKEEM REMAIN PATIENT and took the train back to rafffles place. and then that KEVON told me to look for him at wisma.. so clever hakeem thought that it is at SOMERSET and alight there... AND THEN KEVON SMS HIM " MEET ME AT ORCHARD MRT" so tats the fateful life of CLEVER HAKEEM and the train!!! I GOT LOST ON MRT!! THE MORAL OF THE STORY BRING A MAP!!! IT IS SO BLOODY IRRITATIN!!! I FELT SO DUMB!!! HAHAHA!!!

Continuing on wif our trip!!! HAA!!!! i hope u r feelin better KEVON after telling me ur drama mama!!! WE walked from orchard (we walk there twice) to bugis to eat at RITZ!!! before that we went to PLAZA SING!! and KEVON IS being mean to me!! i want to build a bear!! but then he dun let!! he say tat it is not morally sound for two guys to build a bear together!!! IRRITATIN RITE!!!! i dun care!!!! HE IS SO EVIL!!! I WANT TO BUILD A BEAR!!! ERGHH!!!

COntinuing wif the story... we eat at ritz and i had strawberry strudel and kev had mango strudel!!! IT IS HEAVENLY~~~~!!! Damn nice.. after tat went home!!!! on the bus we talk somemore stupid and insignificant stufss and kev could not stop dancing on the bus!!! u knoe wat i mean kev!!! HAHA!!!! WAS SO TIRED FRM THE JOURNEY!!! KAE I SHALL SLP NOW!!! AND KEV PLS DO THE RIGHT THING!!!! HEED MY ADVICE!!!

The lights at plaza sing.. taken by hakeem!!! WE ARE LIKE CAMWHORIN!!!DAMN NICE STRUDLES!!!

Exams are cruel being....So lets start wif the issue people have wif my blog.. PARAGRAPH!!! guys seriously i try to paragraph it but it turns out not!!! so i make the effort but i will try to improve on it okae!!!! Sp tis past few weeks have been so hectic!!! i am studying like mad!!!! Writing noytes of font size two to studying wrong chaps to not knowing the timetable of the exam and study i wrong order wat could be worse rite???!!!! Plus point there is NO DANCE!!! i seriously cant wait to have dance back!!! and i cant wait for DANCE CAMP!!!! i am so gonna dance!!!! HAHAH!!!

Well on Mon.. i celebrated hari raya haji at my grandma's house... we eat SATAY!!!! i was so fat lah tat day!!! i was so fat that when i jump for joy i got stuck!!! HAHAH!!!! LAME!!!! yeah then love my uncles as they gave us MONEY!!! COLLECTION!!! After tat went to my aunts house and eat again!!! I WAS SO SCARED TAT i puked!!! but by tat time i was too tired... HAHAH!!!! well try to walk arnd whike studyin for ur test the next day!!! It is no fun!!!! ANd then when i went back home KNOCKED OUT!!! HAHA!!! so i was like so dead on tues for my Perception and COgnition test!!! SCrewed!!!! i nd to do well for other component!!!! HAHA!!!

After tat me. mitch, kev went to study at ehub... coffee bean.... i was like writin notes while sharing stories wif them!!! i always like tat part!!!! Oh yar b4 tat we went to eat again for me at BBQ chicken!!! i will never get sick of it cos it is so damn nice!!!!! Love tat Place!!!! OH YAR!!! Me and Mitch oso bought NUM sandles!!!! LOVE IT!!! and it is so stupid i forgot tat poly student have discount!!! so mitch got it!!! IRRITATIN!!!! ERGH!!! yeah... then we went coffee bean and study.... me rsch mtd a... it is quite fun actually.. i ordered white choc peppermint and it is so damn nice!!!!! MUST TRY IT PEOPLE!!! IT IS HEAVENLY!!! HAHA!!! yeah while i was writin notes cos i am squeezing all 4 chaps on one a4 paper so i was writin damn small... it is a CHEAT SHEET for exam... they allow it... HAHA!!! this lady beside me was sayin like "OMG!!! LOOK AT HIS NOTES!!! SO SMALL!!!" GALFREN STOP checkin me out!!1 I didnt say tat though!! HAHA!!! then after tat kev and mitch went back home...kev overnite at her place... And i went to meet someone... we went to the beach until nite time... it was so fun.. we chat all day and i feel i click and comfortable wif tat person.... IT FEEL SO NICE!!! HAHAHA!!!! So anyway... SLEEPIN TIME!!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

Guess Which Cubicle I use to PEE!?

HEAVENLY WHITE CHOC PEPPERMINT