Leaving The Past Behind, Chasing The Future...
So 2008 is leaving us and 2009 is comin even if we dont like it. For some of us, it means new challenges while to others is new beginnings and oppourtunities. It will be sad to leave 2008 as it is filled with many memories both sad and happy while to some it is a fresh start for ur life. For me it is mixed of both feeling. Writing this post while listening to my favourite music is something i will remember about the last few minutes of 2008 and 2009. Everything exist in two ways and you will experience it in your lifetime. It is just how you deal with it and look at it. Sad vs Happy, Ups vs Downs, Negative vs Positive, Success vs Failure, it all exist in two ways. I experienced a fair share of each moment if not, it okae.
2008 is the startin point where i realise myself. Who am i, my purpose in life and what i shld do with my life. It is true that the older you get, the more u will see and understand your surroundings. For me, it opens many alternatives that I need to take to be happy. And i am happy with the path i chose although it is filled with thorns and spikes. It sometimes graze or cut me deep but there are always first-aid and medicine along the way, where u can rest and recover and continue your journey. You just need to keep looking for it.
Detours are expected and i admit i took detours to avoid certain things in my way. These are the regrets in my life as not only it changes the outcome u desire but it changes who u are. You will realise u r not what u r used to be from where u start. I realised it changes me alot. It is not who i want to become. This is the price i have to pay for running away from my problems and difficulties. It just came back to haunt you. One of the biggest regret in 2008 is not being able to stop thinking about my failed relationship in the beggining of the year. It just made me unable to truly like or love a person as the feeling of heartbreak overshadows the greatness of love. Another regret in my life is not beaing able to be a great son to my parents. Falling below their expectations is like a daily routine for me in 2008. I just really wish and hope it won't continue as it pains to see them greatly dissapointed in you.
All these things that happen in 2008 made me hardy and unemotional. There is only one expression on my face, a fake smile. It is difficult for me to feel or bring out my emotions to the public eyes. Maybe I do not want people to see me crying or angry as it is a sign of vulnerabilty. But i realised it will just eat u away. Crying alone and bottling my anger it is just so difficult for me to bear alone. Although i promised myself not to do that anymore, it is difficult for me to change it. Partly maybe when I look around, is there anyone truly love or like me if i show my vulnerability and weakness? Accept me for who I am? "Maybe.." Thats what i always say to myself.... Or partly i don't want anyone to hurt or share the burden with me as they will get hurt and troubled too... It is my token of affection to someone I love, not troubling them with my burden so that they will always be happy and will not run away from me.
On this day, at this very hour I realised it is selfish of me and stupid of me to shy away from people who love me. Loving someone meaning sharing ur emotion and feelings. I hope i will find that star, the star just for me. Liking me for who I am, a HIMBO, an IDIOT, a RETARD, a WEIRDO.
My resolution? After writing this I hope I can see and embrace my star, keep doing things I have passion for (DANCING REGGAE) and be good at it, love and cherish the people around me, hope the world will be a better place to live in, end the people suffering and most importantly of all to those people who haven't found their stars yet, they are shining brightly for you. It just take some time and effort for your pupil to adjust, from the dark corner u have been living in, to the warmth and the brightness of your star, lover, soulmate and partner in every language exist. So for the last few minutes, just cry, cry, cry until ur tears went dry, dry, dry. Here is to 2009 and love u all!
PS: IGNORE THE STUPID CLOCK! THIS IS POSTED ON 00:00 of 1st Jan of 2009. HAHA!!
XOXOXOXOXO
Just Danced After VII 11:02 PM,
So 2008 is leaving us and 2009 is comin even if we dont like it. For some of us, it means new challenges while to others is new beginnings and oppourtunities. It will be sad to leave 2008 as it is filled with many memories both sad and happy while to some it is a fresh start for ur life. For me it is mixed of both feeling. Writing this post while listening to my favourite music is something i will remember about the last few minutes of 2008 and 2009. Everything exist in two ways and you will experience it in your lifetime. It is just how you deal with it and look at it. Sad vs Happy, Ups vs Downs, Negative vs Positive, Success vs Failure, it all exist in two ways. I experienced a fair share of each moment if not, it okae.
2008 is the startin point where i realise myself. Who am i, my purpose in life and what i shld do with my life. It is true that the older you get, the more u will see and understand your surroundings. For me, it opens many alternatives that I need to take to be happy. And i am happy with the path i chose although it is filled with thorns and spikes. It sometimes graze or cut me deep but there are always first-aid and medicine along the way, where u can rest and recover and continue your journey. You just need to keep looking for it.
Detours are expected and i admit i took detours to avoid certain things in my way. These are the regrets in my life as not only it changes the outcome u desire but it changes who u are. You will realise u r not what u r used to be from where u start. I realised it changes me alot. It is not who i want to become. This is the price i have to pay for running away from my problems and difficulties. It just came back to haunt you. One of the biggest regret in 2008 is not being able to stop thinking about my failed relationship in the beggining of the year. It just made me unable to truly like or love a person as the feeling of heartbreak overshadows the greatness of love. Another regret in my life is not beaing able to be a great son to my parents. Falling below their expectations is like a daily routine for me in 2008. I just really wish and hope it won't continue as it pains to see them greatly dissapointed in you.
All these things that happen in 2008 made me hardy and unemotional. There is only one expression on my face, a fake smile. It is difficult for me to feel or bring out my emotions to the public eyes. Maybe I do not want people to see me crying or angry as it is a sign of vulnerabilty. But i realised it will just eat u away. Crying alone and bottling my anger it is just so difficult for me to bear alone. Although i promised myself not to do that anymore, it is difficult for me to change it. Partly maybe when I look around, is there anyone truly love or like me if i show my vulnerability and weakness? Accept me for who I am? "Maybe.." Thats what i always say to myself.... Or partly i don't want anyone to hurt or share the burden with me as they will get hurt and troubled too... It is my token of affection to someone I love, not troubling them with my burden so that they will always be happy and will not run away from me.
On this day, at this very hour I realised it is selfish of me and stupid of me to shy away from people who love me. Loving someone meaning sharing ur emotion and feelings. I hope i will find that star, the star just for me. Liking me for who I am, a HIMBO, an IDIOT, a RETARD, a WEIRDO.
My resolution? After writing this I hope I can see and embrace my star, keep doing things I have passion for (DANCING REGGAE) and be good at it, love and cherish the people around me, hope the world will be a better place to live in, end the people suffering and most importantly of all to those people who haven't found their stars yet, they are shining brightly for you. It just take some time and effort for your pupil to adjust, from the dark corner u have been living in, to the warmth and the brightness of your star, lover, soulmate and partner in every language exist. So for the last few minutes, just cry, cry, cry until ur tears went dry, dry, dry. Here is to 2009 and love u all!
PS: IGNORE THE STUPID CLOCK! THIS IS POSTED ON 00:00 of 1st Jan of 2009. HAHA!!
XOXOXOXOXO
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About Me, Hakeem!
Hear It! Read It! Tag It!
Name: Muhammad Nur Hakeem aka Keem
First Cry: Wonderful 2nd October 1991
School: Temasek Polytechnic Psychology Studies
Dreams: Just Able to Dance Forever!! And Of Course I Want Lots and Lots of Money!
Address: Stalker!
Old Stories
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
Fabulous People
~~DCG!~~
Michelle
Huda
Kevon
Nadia
~~2e4 horny devils!~~
Casslynn =D
Chiamin =D
Cherylanne =D
Felicia =D
Julie Xp
Kailing =D
Yunni =D
YongJian =)
Wanxuan =D
~~4e3 queen of hearts!~~
Alan =p
Beatrice =))
Charmaine ;D
Daryl Xp
Jude =D
Cheryl =)
~~Glamorous People!~~
Diana
Zal
Fatin
Aiken
Azeemah
Amanda
Nad
Alson
Nik
Suria
Fananah
Eulene
Jessica Shen
Haikal
Erika
Jesscy
Jonathan
Suhanah
Noel
Audrey
Haza
Aty
Fadhilah
Shout Your Lungs Out!
Are You Sure You Have Tagged??
A Dance In Blue by Araglas
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